Side man exposing our secret relationship

Dear Pastor,

How are you? I hope you are well. I am a doctor going through menopause. I am 53.

I am married with three children. I am going through a difficult phase in my life. I cheated on my husband, and the side man is exposing me. I know I am wrong. I should have respected my marriage more, but my husband is always at his business place, and he is not really into sex. And my 'rabbit' is jumping.

Luckily my husband doesn't believe the 'bunna man' story. In fact, what the bunna man is saying is very true. I am ashamed of myself. My son is not speaking to me. I travel often to a small island for work, where the bunna man lives permanently. I have stopped having sex with him and am ready to reconcile with my family. Deep down, I miss the bunna man, but I have to fix my marriage. What advice can you give me? I am still in love with the side man, but I don't want to destroy my home.

K.C.

Dear K. C.,

I have read your letter a number of times, and I want you to know that I thank you for your honesty.

You have not tried to pretty up anything. You stepped out of the marriage union and developed an intimate relationship with another man. You describe what you are going through as a difficult phase. This man you got involved with has not kept the relationship a secret. Evidently, he sees himself as a champion to be having a sexual relationship with you. You are a prominent person, I assume, so to him, it's a real big deal for you to have him as your lover.

Recently, I answered a letter from a woman who told me that occasionally when she struggles with herself, her temptation to have sex is very strong and her private part jumps. I remember another woman telling me that there are times when she has to beat her vagina and tell it "Behave yourself". Now you are saying your rabbit is jumping, so I am assuming that you are trying to say that when that happens, it is difficult for you to control yourself and you must have sex.

I want to assure you that the Lord is able to help you keep away from this bunna man. Jesus can give you the strength to stay away from him. Your husband does not believe what the man has been saying. Your husband thinks highly of you and does not believe that you would get involved with another man. Take some time to fast and pray and ask God to keep your marriage together.

Do not communicate with this bunna man at all. Evidently your son believes what he has heard. Try and reconcile. But if he does not see you communicating with this side man, he may regain some respect for you. You have my prayers. May the good Lord bless you.

Pastor